Tuesday, March 2, 2010

In Case You Don't Hate Me Yet

I like dating. There I said it. I enjoy every aspect of it. I like meeting new people.

I like talking. I like talking about things that are important to me; things my friends and I have discussed at length that i am now hearing a fresh opinion on. I like hearing other people's interests (even if I'm not necessarily interested in those things). There is nothing worse than a girl with no interests (I've dated them). I like discussing my interests and why I am interested in them. I like finding out about people's goals and explaining why some of mine might be difficult to reach. I like talking about hashkafa and eager to find someone with one similar to my own.

I like doing things. I like doing things that I wouldn't normally do on my own (or even with my friends). I like spending time in Dave and Busters. I like going to basketball or baseball games. I enjoy walking around Barnes and Noble with no intention of buying anything. I like going to museums. I like going to zoos. I hate going to lounges so I never go. I like walking around Manhattan. I like doing these things with people who are or may be important to me.

I like learning. I like learning things about myself. I like understanding myself a little bit better when I get home after a date. I like learning things about myself when I dump a girl. I like learning things when a girl dumps me. I like learning new routs to take (both actual and metaphorical).

I like meeting new people. I like meeting new girls. I like meeting parents. I like meeting friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. Roommates. Acquaintances. Bubbies. Zaidies. I like talking to these people. I like getting to know them.

I like the awkward moments. Let me say that again. I like the awkward moments. I like knowing what makes them awkward so I know not to repeat them. I now know to try to be sure of yourself. To think about what you say before saying it. To come with a backup plan. I like finding out that i have dated the friend of the girl and better understanding the people she hangs out with (this happened more than twice).

I like everything else that I have yet to mention. I like the drive. I like it when she's in the car. I like it when I'm by myself. I like the long ones to Baltimore. I like the short ones to down the block. I like the walking. I like the prep. I like the anticipation. The waiting to hear back. The uncertainty. The implications. I like it all (except for the phone calls; I hate those).

Am I weird?


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  2. I actually agree with a lot of what you like, Jughead, especially the point you made about the awkward moments. The truth is, dating is the opportunity to learn to see beyond exteriors and how you choose to represent yourself to others. Check out my post from March 1st. It's related this post's subject.

  3. Your optimism is contagious--thank you for being courageous enough to voice positivity in the heart of a medium that glorifies complaints.

    Re awkward moments: I like them, too. I like laughing at them. It only becomes a problem when I'm with someone I can't laugh with; then I retreat to the ceiling and watch from above, amused, as my physical manifestation keeps her cool and muddles through.

  4. I agree to most of that. Love the “Awkward Moments.” It’s also fun to see how different people react to them.

    The only thing I truly don’t like is traveling. Oh, and the frustration. But other than that, agreed.

  5. Jug, this post is very refreshing!
    I think part of the reason you like dating is b/c you're not set up on a real blind-date. (You've stated that you usually know what the girl looks like.)

    That, in my opinion, takes away A LOT of pressure. I'm always nervous whether the guy will think I'm attractive or not, and then I worry about whether or not he's attractive.

  6. It seems that more people are OK with the awkward moments than I thought.

    SJ- I never understood why people complain about dating so vehemently.

    Sefardi Gal- maybe it's time to start getting a picture before hand. I didn't at first, but since I started asking for one, your right, it takes a lot of that pressure away.

  7. Jug, I've been thinking of doing it-
    but I'm not sure how.
    1) Does the shadchan send his picture and does he send mine?
    2) What if he's just not photogenic? I know that I'm not; I either look GREAT in pictures (to the point that I'm barely recognizable) or ugly/fatter/weird. There's a certain "chein"/charm that many people have in real life, but they lack it in photos.
    3) Looks can grow. Someone can be just OK and turn into ridiculously handsome in my eyes if he has great middot and personality. Also, quite the oppositve can happen if he's ridiculously attractive but has a bland or obnoxious personality.
    4) People can have expectations based on photos -- for better or for worse.
    5) It's hurtful to reject someone solely based on looks. Understandable, but still hurtful.

  8. Sefardi Gal- I am going to answer your questions in a separate post.

  9. Correction about Q #1:
    Does the shadchan send him my picture and then send me the guy's picture?