Wednesday, January 26, 2011


It's kinda been on my mind of late.
It seems I don't have the time to do what I want anymore.
I used to be able to do things that I wanted. I guess I used to be in college where I had time to do things. What things? Well, I didn't realize what I could no longer do until some of my friends started doing things they wanted that I have no hope of doing in the foreseeable future. When will I be able to go to Israel? I'm no longer on a school-year schedule. I don't have a five week winter break. I don't have a summer vacation of two months.
Oh yeah. I am done with camp. While my brothers are already planning their summer vacation, I am having it just now hit me that I am not going back. I am working now.
This whole thing became most apparent when a friend of mine told me that he has a date set for the middle of the week at 4:00 pm. Do you know what I do at that time? The same thing most people do. Work. Who has a free minute at 4 in the afternoon?
But it's not just the big things. It's the things that shouldn't have to have time be made for. Things like a haircut need to be planned weeks in advance because that's the next time I have available to see the barber I like. I have tried other barbers lately and they were "meh" at best.
Here's the issue: I go to work every morning at 8:00. I have to get up at 7:00 for a minyan, earlier if I want to shower, shave, etc. Bottom line - I am unable to do anything until 7:00pm when I get home. I would like to learn and exercise* at least twice a week for at least an hour at a time, and oh yeah, eat every once in a while. By the time I collapse in my bed at night, I am exhausted and can't even imagine getting up in a few short hours. But I do. Just so I can do the whole thing over again.
By the way, did you happen to see what I left out of this whole equation? Erachet. That's right. Between my crazy schedule and her inhumane schedule, we see each other much less frequently than we used to. I got really jealous of my afternoon-dater friend when he told me that he doesn't want to postpone the date because the next time won't be until two days later.
Now I don't expect you to feel sorry for me. I don't even feel that sorry for me. It's tough; I know. Everyone has their things they need to deal with. Everyone has difficult schedules to balance. Actually, I am pretty certain that mine is about the norm. But it's new for me, and until I get used to it, I'll deal.
But here's the point. I can't be the same guy I used to be. I can't come out to grab a shawarma at 10:45 at night anymore. I can't hang out as much as I used to on the weekends now. Most of that time is being spent with someone else. I simply ask that as a courtesy to me, the next time you see me, don't greet me with the phrase "it's about time." You have no idea.

*No wonder people are fat. Who has time to be thin? Between working, learning, and spending time with people, who has time to eat anything that takes less time to make than opening a box of cookies?


  1. The positive side of not being able to go for shwarma is that you won't get as fat.

  2. It's about time.

    Also, a like to both of the comments above.

  3. FYI: It gets harder.

  4. When I got married 3 years ago this "no time for anything" was also my biggest fear. No camp, no time for vacation etc.
    I'll tell you what I did.
    First of all - milk the Sundays. I go somewhere EVERY Sunday within a 20 mile radius of NYC. National or city parks, beaches and or boardwalks, we once went upstate to have a bbq, museums, there are so many places in NYC that are really nice and the usual tourist or internet forum don't know about.
    As far as a real vacation.
    I also have a tight schedule (work 8-6 then college 3 times a week till 10:15) We found that the best time for Israel was over Succos - more specifically from Yom Kippur through Succos. This might not be so workable with a non-jewish college, but if you work at a jewish place it is not so many off days that you are sacrificing. And it's close to Jan 1 so you are about to get even more off days.
    Since we went our first Succos to Israel - in 2008 - we have not gone on a 'long vacation' since. But - thanks to a Chase account that me and my wife opened, we got enough miles to book a trip to LA. My wife's a teacher so she gets off in June. (Don't be jealous - that means 2 months w/o a paycheck.)
    Bottom line: milk the Sundays - go to Israel for Succos - its the only time - and use your vacation days - DON'T roll them over. - You'll never end up using them.

  5. im not done - your wife will be your new best friend - you can go out spontaneously at night just take her along. True, you won't have as much time for your old friends but youll see you have shabbos meals, weddings, vorts, shul time, visiting day for camp etc. Youll see once you get married and eventually have child/children iyh your life will chage drastically (in a good way). Im sure that you have memories of family vacation when you were younger. Dont worry you will find time to do everything you want to do.
    A.S. (from M.A)

  6. Welcome to the world of working grownups!
    To add on to what "a" said, use your shabbosim to socialize with friends but also make sure you get to rest and have alone time with your significant other. You may not be able to take long vacations anymore but make sure you get in a few smaller ones before you have kids.
    Don't forget that sometimes you need to use your Sundays to catch up on housework.
    Have fun!